Can we ever truly be OK?

About 7 years ago, I learned that I had an eating disorder. I was shocked. Mainly binge eating but also some bulimia and a little bit of anorexia. Up until that point, I thought everyone binged on foods that they liked. I thought it was normal to crave foods you enjoyed, and it was normal to think about them all day. I read a book about fixing your metabolism (because I was never thin enough), only to check every single box in the eating disorder chapter. Shortly after, I began my journey in wanting to “fix” the eating disorder. Years later and about 80 lbs. of weight gain, I realized that the eating disorder is not the cause. It is the symptom. It is the symptom of deeper emotional wounding. And although not everyone struggles with weight issues or binge eating, they can struggle with other symptoms like anxiety and depression. It all stems from the same emotional center. I later also learned that in addition to uncontrollable binging, I also stuffed my emotional pain with excessive shopping, endless cleaning and painting of my house, and my obsession with caffeine.

I have learned to do all of the wrong things, so that I can teach others to do it the best way

It took years of learning, trial and error and various books and teachers to finally figure out what my problem was and how to actually fix it. I haven’t binged in years. I have gotten rid of depression, triggers, anger, shame and judgement. I have even gotten rid of food noise (food noise is constant thinking about food and constantly craving something). And everything was on a great road to thriving. Finally being able to thrive instead of just survive from day to day.

In the last few months, I have been dialing in what it is that I want to teach and what service it is that I am called to provide to my community. Just as I was confident in writing my first program, it came back. The food noise, the cravings… And I couldn’t help to feel like my world was crumbling. “I thought I was passed this… I thought I was healed”… But here I was, using food to numb my feelings. Feelings of fear and anxiety.

It took some reflecting for me to realize that healing isn’t about never having to struggle again. It’s about how quickly you snap out of it now and how quickly you bounce back. You see, every time I used to dip into my lows, it took me weeks to get back on my feet. And now, it took 48 hours. So it’s not about always being perfect. It’s about observing yourself and using the tools you have learned to quickly bounce back.

I can teach you those tools. And they can help you, just like they helped me.

Even if you don’t have weight issues or struggle with binge eating. You might be struggling in other areas of your life.

Are you anxious?

In chronic pain?

Get angry easily?

Constantly judge others?

Low energy?

Feel stuck?

Generally unhappy?

Those are all symptoms of imbalance in your energy centers, and I am putting a few courses together on teaching the tools I have learned to help balance them and live a move full filled life.

Stay tuned for announcements and updates.